mardi, septembre 22

A quick update

A list of things to say:

1. I didn't want to be a server again but New York is a city that necessitates working, earning money, and pay too much for your apartment; thus it was the fastest job I could get.
2. I work at a swanky restaurant, I see a constant stream of celebrities almost everyday that I work. I guess it's a fair trade off, at least for a while, having fun at work and meeting movie stars. I can handle doing this for a bit.
3. I think New York is a great city. I'm getting better at being here everyday.
4. I just had the best veggie burger of my life at a little coffee shop that I like to go to for the free internet.
5. The nice thing about being here is that everyone wants to visit, I've already seen one very good friend, have another one coming in a few days as well as R's mom. Next month I'll have 2 more visiting.
6. I'm going back to Montreal on Sunday for the bike trip R and I planned a while back. We're biking from Montreal to NYC and then he'll be in the city for a week, hurrah!
7. We're experiencing a much needed and much enjoyed Indian summer right now. I wish the whole summer had been like this; 70 degree days, sunny but not overwhelming, gentle breezes.
8. But, I'm very excited for fall. I've always though fall must be beautiful here. All those trees turning colors in Central Park...
9. There is no number 9.

mardi, septembre 15

Ceci n'est pas une pipe

Sometimes I feel like taking up smoking. It's an odd impulse considering I've never smoked nor ever wanted to, however after watching the pilot episode of Mad Men (which I felt compelled to see since everyone talks about how amazing the show is and how fabulous the clothes are) I got a curious urge to light up a smoke, just to take the edge off. Tonight I felt the same way. I went to another reading at that wonderful little bookshop which is my new favorite, Spoonbill & Sugartown, and felt like I needed to bum a smoke off someone. I can't quite explain why, maybe it was due to the fact that I was hopped up on coffee and feeling excited by the reading or the fact that I was alone and felt chatty....but for some reason I just really wanted to hold a cigarette to my mouth and enhale deeply. Fortunately smoking, among many things, is not a vice I can afford to indulge in and thus it shall remain a thought in the back of my mind as a sort of false habbit in which I would say to myself under certain situations, 'damn I could really use a smoke right now'.

vendredi, septembre 11

On finding safe spaces

It's raining and windy in New York, in fact, one might as well just call this day snarly. I'm in a nice coffee shop I like to think of as my own since I've been here all of 2 times. It's got lots of tables and chairs, nice dim lighting, usually good music, affordable joe, and sometimes wireless. I like to sit in the very back corner and feel tucked away, and comfortable, and safe. I think the important thing about moving to a new place is finding places that feel recognizable. Last night I went to a reading of author Tao Lin at a great little independent book store and found that same feeling; it felt like a safe space. Rainy days are good for that, for hiding away and hibernating a bit. I've been training hard at my new job, a swanky restaurant in Soho and finally got a few days break before I officially begin on Sunday. Lucky me to be here and safe with hot coffee, my mac, my journal, my book, and you.

samedi, septembre 5

I got everything, I ain't got nothing at all

I'm sitting in my Brooklyn apartment sweating bullets as I write this. I left Montreal 6 days ago and it feels like I've been gone for ages already. So much has happened in that short period of time: meeting and staying with a great couch surfer in the East Village, looking for an apartment and finding one on the first day with my new roommate and great friend E, getting a new cell phone, setting up a bank account, and yes, even finding a job. I was really stressed about this move, I realize now how foolish it was. Deciding to move to New York City is not a decision to be taken lightly. My only reasoning is that I'd been feeling pretty upset and unlike myself in Montreal for the month of August; not being able to work is a very difficult thing especially when your Other is supporting you and working their ass off to do it. I'd never been in a situation like that before and simply couldn't continue to live like that. I needed to be proactive and get behind the driver's side.

Getting here kicked me into high gear because I knew it was kill or be killed mentality. New York is Darwinism at its finest. Everything about it is intense and political, it always comes down to who you know and who knows you. In my situation I needed to find a job immediately and was worried about my options since I couldn't afford to wait around and find out who would interview me months later. Thus I started with restaurants and passed an intense interview that involved a written test! To celebrate I bought myself a $14 skirt at Forever 21 to wear to my training tomorrow because oddly enough I didn't have a black skirt or pants. So. Here I am in Brooklyn. And to be completely honest all I can think about is Montreal and how much I love it. That was my home. That is my home.

dimanche, août 30

The Sentence

And the stone word fell
On my still-living breast.
Never mind, I was ready.
I will manage somehow.

Today I have so much to do:
I must kill memory once and for all,
I must turn my soul to stone,
I must learn to live again--

Unless . . . Summer's ardent rustling
Is like a festival outside my window.
For a long time I've foreseen this
Brilliant day, this deserted house.

--Anna Akhmatova

jeudi, août 27

This just in

I am moving to New York City on Monday. Holy hell. My visa is up on Monday and I've decided since I am quite broke that the best decision was to return to the States and get a job; and if I have to go back I want to at least go to the most amazing city there is. Ro and I will be doing the long distance thing at least until I get my papers, which probably means for a year and hopefully not longer. I'm scared only because I know that New York is a city that eats people for breakfast and in addition to that is unforgivably expensive. But I'm glad because I have a good network of friends living there already who are happy to have me joining their ranks and have offered to show me around, friends in a city like NY are essential. A good friend of mine from Minneapolis actually just made the move as well, we're looking to maybe get a place together in Brooklyn. Holy shit I'm moving to Brooklyn. This all feels so surreal, I'm moving to Brooklyn on Monday. I only just made that decision 2 days ago. A new adventure awaits and I am eager and nervous and naturally quite sad to be leaving Montreal. I really do love it here. Le sigh. I'll return, but until then....wait for it....No! Sleep! til Brooklyn! (wasn't it obvious?)

mardi, août 18

Brigitte Bardot, an interlude

It's finally summer in Montreal...caaaalisse it took long enough! Anyways here's a little something to get you all hot and bothered until I write again. A little Brigitte Bardot never hurt anyone. Who says I'm a lazy blogger? Would a lazy blogger give you Bardot? Would a lazy blogger tell you about baking blueberry scones and then making cds of French music for her friends instead of going to yoga? Would a lazy blogger, ah screw it, sorry for the absence (again) go get yourself a glass of ice water before Brigitte and her merry men give you a heat stroke!

vendredi, juillet 31

You deserve more

As promised here is another fashion-y photo thing I did with my silly make-up artist/designer friend Marie-Laure. She liked this image so much she decided to use it on her business card. More to come later, promise. There is much to share: a special trip to Toronto, my new camera, lots of surprise presents in the mail, some project planning and some painting...gah! I'm a bad bad blogger, but I hope you'll stick around. Merci les amis!

jeudi, juillet 16

Good morning world

Once again I've become a lazy blogger, eh. It happens. Tomorrow I leave for a most exciting voyage to Toronto to visit the wondrously amazing V! I couldn't be more excited; I haven't left this city since my trip to Guatemala in February. It's definitely time for a mini vacation. Last night R and I had our Dutch friend Mark over with his girlfriend for a night of sushi and Saki (which I just tried for the first time and must admit to not liking it one bit, maybe it was the brand?). R and I are going to start planning our next vacation which is at the end of September and we're going to try and make it a bike trip going from Montreal to NYC! We talked to Mark because, being Dutch, he's quite the expert biker, although more so then most Dutch. He's biked around the world, thousands and thousands of kilometers! He's also the founder of an amazing site called Stay Nomad which helps people find sponsors and connections for trips they're planning. We got to talking about ways we could get sponsors for our trip, what we're going to need gear-wise, and how long it'll take. In lieu of explaining all of the details I'll simply say it's something we need to begin working on now if we want to make it possible. Mark said it would probably take us about 6-7 days to bike there. Once in NYC we'll stay for about a week and instead of taking another week-long trek home we'll take the train. I'm so terribly excited already! More details to come later, in the mean time check out Stay Nomad, it's a really great website.

jeudi, juillet 2


Guess who I saw in concert tuesday night? Stevie Wonder! Montreal has a really big jazz festival that's going on right now and Stevie Wonder opened the festival with a free concert outside in down town Montreal. It.was.amazing. He played everything, I mean everything! All his hits, and he had so much energy and was so charismatic with the crowd. At the end of the concert they put together a Michael Jackson tribute medley and then it started to rain but no one left; everyone started dancing and singing along. There are some things that we all know by heart, I think music is one of them.

mardi, juin 23

They prefer it with a wedge of lime

Today I watered the plants with Perrier; not on purpose of course but alas my little herbs were lucky to soak up the rest of a bottle I didn't know we'd had. I save some of the Perrier bottles in the fridge see, along with other juice bottles that catch my fancy (all glass bottles of course). I put water or iced tea in them just to have something cool on hand, thus it is sometimes impossible to tell if the bottle is actual Perrier or just water. Speaking of herbs R and I went to Jean Talon Market Sunday and scored a delicious bounty of local fruits and veggies: tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, arugula, cucumbers, apples, and some non local avocados. I've been enjoying the most amazing and flavorful salads since...nothing even compares to eating foods when they are in season. We also picked up a little lavender plant to add to the herb gang, hurrah! I wish I could take pictures to show you but I am still sans camera. But! I do believe I will soon be getting a d-slr...which would be such a treat; it's a late Christmas present from my brother. Hopefully, if all goes according to plan, it should get here within the next few weeks. I'm keeping my finger crossed until then.

mardi, juin 9

RIP my camera; three cheers for my favorite meal

It is raining mercilessly outside and my little plants almost seem to press their leaves against the window, I think they'd prefer to be outside soaking up the natural rain. I am not too fond of rain except for when it is beautiful, like right now. It's almost noon and the sky is completely gray, like a 9:00 sky. I feel like I woke up early and still have most of the day ahead of me when in earnest I woke up late and can't enjoy those first early hours. Regardless of what time it is the first meal I always eat when I wake up is breakfast, my most favorite meal of all. I had a little craving for sugar today and hoped to nibble up the last of the leaping lemurs! chocolate peanut butter kid's cereal (best impulse buy) only to find R had beat me to it. Grrr. That man eats food in such high quantities it's become a running joke. The bread that we bought yesterday? Almost gone. I close my eyes for an instant and the cheese is no where to be found! A few weeks ago when there were some important papers to be signed and R was nervous he ate an entire loaf of bread in the course of a few hours. Wowza can the boy eat. En tout cas not having cereal didn't turn out to be such a bad thing because I really crave a salé petit dejeuner, a salty breakfast. Today that meant a thick slice of whole wheat toast with thin slices of brie cheese melted on top (lucky for me one of my favorite cheeses is one of his least!). I was still a bit hungry so I grabbed the tiny end slice to toast up and spread with my new favorite jam, Quince! Do you know what a Quince is? Neither did I until I went to Guatemala. R's mom had a peculiar looking butterscotch colored jam on the table, "Try it Sarah, is very good!" she exclaimed. I timidly spooned a bit on to my tortilla (which made them all laugh...apparently tortillas are not to be eaten with jam) and smiled at the delicious new flavor. Unlike other fruits to be certain, yet a bit grainy like a pear...I loved it so much I ate almost the entire jar over the course of our vacation. Ooops. While shopping the other day I was delighted to find a little jar at our depanneur (corner shop, groccery store). However, this jam is nowhere near as delightful as what I had in Guatemala which was homemade by a little abuelita (granny) using local fruit. Still this didn't stop me from eating it to my hearts content and if I could take a picture it would show that this jar is almost empty. Speaking of which my beloved partner in crime, my Canon SD60 finally bit the dust early last week. I'm not sure when exactly but when I pulled her out to take a photo the screen was completely shattered and the lights flickered before going out. Rest in peace little one. I am in the works of finding a new one though, a camera friend might sell me one of his digitals at an affordable price, here's hoping!

jeudi, mai 21

Encore une fois

Another photo shoot today, this one for a friend's make-up portfolio. Tuesday I was chez elle for some testing which included gluing several sets of fake eye lashes, feathers, tiny metal butterflies, and beads onto my eye brow and lashes...ce n'etait pas le fun. (it wasn't fun) My eye was irritated the whole rest of the day and despite having done nothing, just sat in a chair for a few hours, I was quite tired. Back for more testing yesterday it was decided that the look had been too kitsch, instead she chose to paint sections of my face blue with purple shading. Oh, ok. I won't go into detail about the hair it was, suffice it to say, 'quelque chose'. (really something) The paint can stain skin if left on too long so I was treated to a quick, yet luxious facial finished off with a hydrating Chanel face cream which my skin most graciously absorbed...alas it left me with a longing for Paris.

dimanche, mai 10

The green hornet

Ok so I've promised photos of the fashiony things that I do and haven't delivered...until now. Alors voila mes chers, yours truly at today's photo shoot.

vendredi, mai 8

So now then

We made it, we're all moved in. Only one problem, we have no furniture...hmm. Today we got spoons and I swear it felt like the most revolutionary moment all week, like whoa. Spoons. Heavy. We're living like vagrants, cooking spaghetti in a frying pan (yes it is possible) and sleeping on a mattress on the floor. We make these kinds of sacrifices knowing that someday (perhaps next month?) we'll get a bed frame, a couch, and yes even a pot. Le sigh. I really can't complain though, because despite living simply I am quite happy in my lot. Happy and lofty indeed. A la prochaine mes chers.

vendredi, mai 1

mardi, avril 28

I am waiting (for my man)

I've recently begun to do a bit of research on the Montréal dance scene and a friend recommend that I check out La La La Human Steps dance company. Shock and awe my friends, be prepared to be wowed. The above video is so stunning I watched it last night and then thought before falling asleep that I needed to watch it again in the morning, first thing this morning I watched it again twice. Enjoy!

samedi, avril 25

Les enfants du paradis

Today is Spring, it truly is. As such it means that I am about to make another move and haphazardly pack my suitcases while the open window lets the sun and warm breezes in. I'm thrilled to be moving. On Friday R and I bought some great stuff at the Salvation Army. (The best was the 60's style kitchen table with legs that go out on a diagonal and the mid-century modern dresser which I intend to put in the living room with shelves above it and loads of plants dangling down in an attempt to create a sort of living wall.) So I'm afraid that's about all the news for now. Tonight is the last hurrah at R's apartment which means dinner, friends, and loads of wine. Praise be to warm nights with wine!

mardi, avril 21

Love is, is too weak a word for what I feel - I lurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you

Yesterday will live as one of the happiest and most unexpected coincidences in all of my days thus far. Yesterday, I met Annie Hall, err I mean Diane Keaton. I swear my heads been in the clouds ever since; she asked me if I was an actress! She shook my hand and smiled big when I told her what a huge fan I was. She called me sweet!

samedi, avril 18

Lady I swear by all flowers

There isn't one single thing I don't love about this look, not a one! Luminescent pale skin, flesh-toned vintage gown, delicate veiling of the face enclosed with a flower, cherry nails, pinky lips, jeweled clutch, brava brava! Am also loving Drew's 60s-esque tribute in this following ensemble:

If only I had long hair so that I too could sport a big bouffant of sexy hair with cat eyes, nude lips, and sweeping floor length gowns. Le sigh. To be a famous movie star who can jump from era to era in the blink of an eye. Well played Ms. Berrymore, I eagerly await your next move.

mardi, avril 14

Une fille comme moi

Ladies might I direct your attention to a fashion icon and artist whom I've only recently been turned onto myself, Parisienne extraordinaire Garance Dore. A woman with an easy and classic sense of style in tune with the times and curious about the world of fashion and anyone who enjoys parading its splendors. When asked if there is any trend or style she dispises Garance replies, "I can't say. Every time I find something I don't like, I end up finding someone who wears it in a beautiful and interesting way. Fashion changes so fast that it teaches us to never say never." I couldn't agree more.

lundi, avril 13

Nothing extraordinary

Hello friend, it's me again. Back so soon yes, surprising isn't it? I've just been lounging around all day drinking green tea, catching up on my favorite blogs, and chatting with my roommate over a large delightful plate of pesto pasta. Miam. A wonderfully fulfilling day. I should probably begin to pack my suitcases for my next move to the loft...but I suppose I'll get around to it later. There's always time for everything later, n'est pas?

mardi, avril 7

Some things: a posted list

1. I am moving into a loft with my manfriend in May (!!)
2. My hairs are platinum blonde and parts are shaved (I did a hair show....eek it's a long story.)
3. As my 'payment' for the show the hair dresser promised me 6 months of free hair cuts/color/whatever I wanted.  I do believe my next color will be red.
4. I rode my bike all winter just like I told everyone I was going to.    
5. Lately I've been toying with the idea of going vegan again.  
6. Speaking of which, I'm really into mock meats lately and am loving trying all the different ones I come across.  There's a little Chinese tea shop that sells lots of different ones...some are even shaped like the animal.  Mock meat lobster anyone?  
7. I practice yoga regularly and have for 2 months, now going on 3.  I most highly recommend it.
8. I don't think I'll be returning to school next year, McG just wasn't my cup of tea.
9. I do, however, intend to stay in Montreal.  This city is, and I have said it before, brilliant.
10. I don't speak as much French as I'd like to, this is mostly my own fault. 
11. Although, part of the burden comes from the fact that Canadian French is in no way similar to the French I was taught in school and spoke in France.  This is not a bad thing, just something that takes getting used to.  Calice!
12. I miss my friends more and more everyday.  We have our letters and phone calls, alas, there is still a void that cannot be filled.
13. I have more boy friends here then I have ever had in my whole's quite a change.  Almost all of the friends that I see on a regular basis or that call me to hang out are boys.  I miss having girl friends, where you at ladies? 
14. I've been having very vivid dreams and remembering my dreams more often since moving here.  Nothing too exciting to report, however, usually it's just random and bizarre.
15. I am currently addicted to the show Carnivale.  
16. Inspired by Carnivale I intend to give our new bedroom in the loft a sort of 'trampy/vagabond/backstagey' type of feel to it by hanging sheets from the ceiling to create a canopy over the bed.  For his part Mr. Man wants to nail branches to the walls in the living room area, also in an effort to create a canopy.  It's hard to explain I guess?  Rest assured it will be a thing of beauty, photos of completed said projects to follow.  
17. After missing my friends the second thing I miss the most is traveling; I miss Europe pretty hard too.  le sigh.
18. Quite often people here ask me if I am Dutch.  I am not.
19. Yesterday I bought my first pair of jeans in almost 3 years.  I wear dresses and skirts usually but this proves impractical for biking (especially in winter).  I avoid even trying on jeans because I'm usually disappointed however, I tried on a pair (skinnies with blue and white train conductor stripes) and can't remember this last time I felt this giddy about a pair of jeans.  High school maybe? 
20. I love Michelle Obama.  Who doesn't?

samedi, février 21

Remembering, knowing

How it felt impossible, tragic even, to let them go. I thought to myself, "But they're so small, and everything else out there is so much greater." I wanted to keep you to myself, to raise you and hold on and protect those little fins swooping like propellers with such force that I had to hold on with both hands. I let you go, though. Set you onto the sand and watched as you hurried towards a wave larger then I myself would have been capable of withstanding. I picked up others and placed them down, amazed at their intuitive flapping and struggle to rush towards the rush of something that could so clearly overtake them.

But they were strong and all made it out to sea. The worker told us that of all the turtles we freed that day only about 10% would survive to adulthood. Might I have hoped to help along a few in that minority of 10%? It's unlikely. I stayed to watch them all drift off on their first waves and hoped that, contrary to what the worker had said, maybe with this group 20 or 15 or even just 12% would make it to adulthood...anything greater then that scant 10%. Later that night we ate dinner at a beachside cafe and struggled to communicate over the intensity of the crashing waves. A storm was coming in and the tides were stronger then any we'd heard previously, stampeding onto the shore each succeeding wave more powerful then the last. "I wonder where they are now," I said, hoping that I wasn't alone in my worrying. "Probably miles and miles out to sea by now, she said, they're so strong." I set my fork down in contemplation, remembering how strong they but also they were only just born and still small and so vulnerable...knowing that the minority would live I glanced toward the waves and hoped again for 20 or 15 or 12.

dimanche, janvier 4


Goals for the new year:

1. Get a new job
2. Figure out my finances (boring I know)
3. Travel

I went home (stateside) and travelled back again. Seeing everyone (friends & fam) certainly was grand, but I was itching to get back to Montreal. After only having lived here for 4 months I already feel like I can call this place home. Coming back to friendly faces and hugs from everyone who had missed me (despite having only been gone for 9 days) was the best. I think if ever there were a city I was fated to live in, perhaps Montreal would be it. The only major pitfall of this love affair of a life here is the weather. Boo to you cold wind and snow. I suppose those are just minor details in the grand scheme of it all. Hope you are well, dear reader, did I lose you in those 2 months without posting? If not I thank you for sticking around...more to come later.