jeudi, janvier 17
Black and white
So here it is, up front, cold, and ugly: I'm unhappy. Terribly miserably unhappy here. This town makes me crawl out of my skin and I feel so incredibly upset and confused that I don't know where to begin. I've phoned family and friends with the message I'm coming home. No definitive decision has been made yet, but for the moment I envision myself returning soon, as soon as possible even. I wish I could more clearly verbalize how I feel and what has made me arrive at this decision; I'm trying to see this situation in black and white but all I see is gray. I suppose I've tried to distract myself through various means of entertainment and small vacations in hopes of avoiding the unavoidable fact that this just isn't right for me and I can no longer go forward. Returning home, however, will not be a quick fix to this problem of unsatisfied unhappiness. I fear this problem goes much deeper. Returning home is perhaps only the first step in finding or hoping to recover what I seek.