jeudi, juin 19

Build me up buttercup

So about me and Montreal and Minneapolis and my life and here and this summer and now...well, it's a long story, but I'll do my best to recap. Montreal was wonderful. A really beautiful and culturally diverse city with a European mentality and an American-esque type feel. I instantly felt at home and had no problem navigating the city. I couch surfed in an apartment in the St. Denis area of Montreal with a group of students & had a phenomenal time with them. The reason that I went to Montreal, aside from having wanted to visit Canada, was to check out McGill University for a translation program. I applied & took the entrance exam and won't hear anything back until Mid-July. Eep. I'd really hope that I am accepted, however, if not it won't be the end of the world since I've been giving Australia a very close look lately. Australia?, you ask, to which I respond, Well, yes. You see, I really love traveling and living abroad, and even though I've never been particularly intrigued with Australia I do want to travel to Asia very badly. (I figure that living in Australia it's easier to faster to travel to Asia then going from the States to Asia.) Though Australia wasn't terribly exciting for me I met several wonderful & silly Aussies while I traveled through Europe and became curious about their homeland (in the same way that I became curious about Canada after having met C-Town). So...I suppose for the moment I imagine that I'll either be in Australia or Canada in 6 months from now. Pas mal, eh?

For the moment I am back in Minneapolis and enjoying the summer, mostly. I adore my friends and my job, but I feel like something's missing. This feeling is pretty normal for me, though. I always question my life and, in quiet moments, wonder if I really am happy with where I'm at and how I've constructed my life. I'm happy to be back to my roots in a city I love with surrounded by the people who make me feel the most like myself...but I feel like, somehow, I'm not being true to myself. I think what I mean to say is, I feel like I've given up my passions. Things that I treasure the most seem to be shelved for the moment (reading, writing, dancing, taking pictures, volunteering), & I feel like I'm treading water just trying to keep from drowning. How do you keep pace with your life? Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed because of all the interests and things I have & love to do that I find it hard to do them all. I know I've only been back for a little over a month, but I need to focus on finding a balance for including ...everything. Is everything too much? Can you ever have it all, how do you say no (or yes) to what you want when there are a million other things you'd like as well? (I'm talking myself in circles again, in any case Happy Summer to you. The weather here has been beyond beautiful lately.)

1 commentaire:

Miss Alissa a dit…

I know exactly how you feel - I left Paris 6 months ago to return to 'normal' life back in London and whilst being surrounded by friends, family and familiarity can be great - at the same time it feels like I'm having to shut a certain part of me off to be able to settle back here. Being away was freedom and excitement, and just me - and although there are many reasons to come back I can't help feel like my feet are not really fully back on the ground here. Like I might run away again at any minute!

It's good to know that I'm not the only one - half of the people around me see it as good thing, and the other half think I'm crazy. If it makes you feel any better I tangle myself up with these thoughts about 20 times day - having your heart pulled in a lot of directions is a tricky, tricky thing.

But good luck - I'm sure wherever you end up will be amazing - I think it's wonderful to always be looking for your next adventure.

Ali

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