If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts

Everything is going great until it isn't; this is the best way I can think to describe my day to day life. I really love it here but realize that I'm having the same problem now that I had in France, I miss the people I have a history with; the ones who know the inside jokes and about old I find myself in this situation constantly: everything is going well, very well, and then all of the sudden I realize that something or some one is missing. I hadn't really taken the time to slow down or acknowledge the fact that I'd gone and left (again) a most wonderful group of people and one of my most favorite cities in the world. Things were just so lovely here, until I started to have the same problems of any other normal person and realized that I really had no one to share these issues with or ask advice of. All of my relationships are still in the very burgeoning stages, I do adore my friends here but we know so little of each other. Any time I want to discuss a problem or tell about a friend from home there is a huge dialogue that needs to exist involving extensive back stories which don't ever get articulated well or may seem superfluous to the listener who is unfamiliar with such details as old Halloween costumes, former flames, and drunken debauchery. Last weekend my dear dear dear friend the sensational Ms. V flew in for an all-too brief visit which couldn't have come at a better time. No matter what we did together (drinks, brunch, dancing) felt like the most fun I'd had in weeks. It made me realize that where I came from I had roots, no matter how far I keep walking they're still right where I left them...& hot damn I'm missing all my lovely friends like it's nobody's business.

They call me mellow yellow

Part of the reason why I haven't been blogging is not just a lack of muse but also a lack of time. I've been kept quite busy by studying, readying, riding my bike, making soup*, and above all work. I started a new job just last week; unfortunately I wasn't very enthusiastic about the mood at work but was trying my darnedest to succeed. Despite my best efforts I decided to leave due to a traumatic incident involving my manager, without going into too much detail I'll simply say that my trust was violated and that I hope never never to see this man again. On the bright side I now have more free time to finally devote to simple things I hadn't been able to find the time for, things like laundry, cleaning the bathroom, uploading my photos, making phone calls, etc. Incidentally I was also happy to have not taken the tags off of a dress from American Apparel (which I was told was necessary for the job) and went to return the dress and get my money back, alas American Apparel only does in-store credit! Drats! And yet! It meant that this was money I could only spend there, not on rent or groceries or any other plain old humdrum expense, wow it felt foreign to be able to look at the clothes and think about what I wanted to treat myself to. Since moving to Montreal I've been dealing with a very tight budget and haven't shopped at all, haven't even allowed myself to look. I ended up getting an adorable little golden-rod colored mini skirt with deep pockets and a pair of canary yellow white trimmed men's briefs...lately I kind of have a thing for yellowy tones. As I hopped on my bike to go home I passed a little friprie and popped in for a quick peruse. I happened upon another lovely yellow shirt (same color as the briefs) in a super soft worn cotton, a little yellow paisley scarf, yellow and white plastic bead necklaces, and a black lace slip which I'd been needing since my other one totally bit the dust earlier this summer. All in all a very productive afternoon.



*I have really begun to mature in my soup making techniques and recipes. My little vegetable stand is extremely affordable and I oft pop in to buy everything for a large pot-o-soup for a mere $5 or less! Sometimes I make a simple vegetable soup and put in whatever seems freshest, however, I've really been a fan of mushroom barley these days. I simply use a container of button mushrooms, however much barley my heart desires, a medium onion, garlic, sage, rosemary, and a bay leaf. It makes for a very satisfying soup and I've always enjoyed mushrooms in soup although I find it's not a vegetable used often enough in this way. Aside from these soups I delighted my friends with a root vegetable soup of beets, carrots, potatoes, and turnips. I used herbes de provence, garlic, oregano, tarragon, and thyme. By a happy coincidence the beets turned the entire soup bright pink, highly delightful. (Nina this soup made me think of you and all the times I commanded you to make me tsimus. Mmmm...tsmims) The most advanced of soups was my roasted pumpkin puree. We went to the market and found a big big pumpkin, carted it home on the bike (all bundled up in its own little crate bed) and hacked the beast to bits, salt peppered and olive oil her up and then roasted as much of it as we could (freezing the rest for future soups!). In a pan I sauteed leeks, carrots, 1 small apple, and garlic, and the most fragrant soft leaves of fresh sage I'd ever smelled. Once the veggies began to wilt we added slices of the roasted pumpkin as well as vegetable bouillon...puis ca y est! All that's left to do is give it a nice blitz in the blender with a bit of creme fraiche and you can be sure that all who try your lovely creation will be wagging their tails for more.

Remember me

Friends, it has been too long. Since moving to Montreal my blogging has been almost non-existent, please accept my apologies. I find that I just keeping hitting the wall of having nothing to say or not being able to phrase it in a way that would make it seem interesting. This is not to say that my life here is boring, quite contrary I'm the happiest I've been in years; but it feels like I forgot how to tie my shoes, so to speak. Perhaps the blogger in me went into hibernation to moment things started to go really good. I used to use this blog as a way to rethink my days and express the emotions that I struggled to understand and hoped that others would want to read about and comment on. Now that things are (mostly) good I feel less of a need to blog and more of a desire to do, and I much prefer to live my life with an emphasis on the doing and acting. I am fully enjoying the possibilities of going out and seeing new events, shows, films, etc and meeting fabulous people every night of the week; oh my salad days you keep me up all night and I smile sleepily as I wander through the days that follow. In any event I simply wish to say a quick 'Hey, I miss you. Let's hang out.' I haven't entirely abandoned the blog but like most things in my life it's not something I can force. I need the blog to be organic, which is what you want too, non? Bisous.

Kindreds

I have always loved receiving letters. There's something wonderfully special about getting a little message in the mail that isn't a bill or coupon or advertisement that cheers me up like nothing else can. I suppose letters mean more nowadays that they're written so infrequently. When I lived in France I took great pleasure in maintaining correspondence with many dear friends Stateside and say with pride that I received over 40 pieces of mail (packages & little presents included) during my stint abroad. Pal mal! En tout cas I just had to share this email my lovely friend Michael sent me. I hadn't seen Michael in about two years and then I ran into him at one of my favorite coffee shops in Minneapolis one of the last days before I left to move to Montreal. We had an intense conversation about literature, Europe, travel, etc etc. and I realized how this long lost friend of mine and I were kindred spirits in many ways and I felt so very happy indeed that we had found each other again. When I moved to Montreal I promised to keep in touch and unfortunately only had his email...yesterday I finally fired off an email request for a mailing address (Michael is a special and particular person, one to whom I could not imagine writing emails, you'll see why in a moment) and this was the response that followed:

Good-evening, Sarah.

The autumn is a very lovely time, in fact, a very melancholy time and
Stillwater is always both; as such, as always, I have been lovely in the
most wistful, pensive way. I agree with you: Emails are nothing but
tomfoolery and business; if you recall, you and I were once friends on
Facebook, but a departure was necessary as pen and paper are my closest
friends, though not much was reciprocated, I mean most think it's an
inconvenience to write a letter. It really is one of my favorite things,
receiving them is even better.

Hope you are splendid.

Until a letter,
Michael