A quick update

A list of things to say:

1. I didn't want to be a server again but New York is a city that necessitates working, earning money, and pay too much for your apartment; thus it was the fastest job I could get.
2. I work at a swanky restaurant, I see a constant stream of celebrities almost everyday that I work. I guess it's a fair trade off, at least for a while, having fun at work and meeting movie stars. I can handle doing this for a bit.
3. I think New York is a great city. I'm getting better at being here everyday.
4. I just had the best veggie burger of my life at a little coffee shop that I like to go to for the free internet.
5. The nice thing about being here is that everyone wants to visit, I've already seen one very good friend, have another one coming in a few days as well as R's mom. Next month I'll have 2 more visiting.
6. I'm going back to Montreal on Sunday for the bike trip R and I planned a while back. We're biking from Montreal to NYC and then he'll be in the city for a week, hurrah!
7. We're experiencing a much needed and much enjoyed Indian summer right now. I wish the whole summer had been like this; 70 degree days, sunny but not overwhelming, gentle breezes.
8. But, I'm very excited for fall. I've always though fall must be beautiful here. All those trees turning colors in Central Park...
9. There is no number 9.

Ceci n'est pas une pipe

Sometimes I feel like taking up smoking. It's an odd impulse considering I've never smoked nor ever wanted to, however after watching the pilot episode of Mad Men (which I felt compelled to see since everyone talks about how amazing the show is and how fabulous the clothes are) I got a curious urge to light up a smoke, just to take the edge off. Tonight I felt the same way. I went to another reading at that wonderful little bookshop which is my new favorite, Spoonbill & Sugartown, and felt like I needed to bum a smoke off someone. I can't quite explain why, maybe it was due to the fact that I was hopped up on coffee and feeling excited by the reading or the fact that I was alone and felt chatty....but for some reason I just really wanted to hold a cigarette to my mouth and enhale deeply. Fortunately smoking, among many things, is not a vice I can afford to indulge in and thus it shall remain a thought in the back of my mind as a sort of false habbit in which I would say to myself under certain situations, 'damn I could really use a smoke right now'.

On finding safe spaces

It's raining and windy in New York, in fact, one might as well just call this day snarly. I'm in a nice coffee shop I like to think of as my own since I've been here all of 2 times. It's got lots of tables and chairs, nice dim lighting, usually good music, affordable joe, and sometimes wireless. I like to sit in the very back corner and feel tucked away, and comfortable, and safe. I think the important thing about moving to a new place is finding places that feel recognizable. Last night I went to a reading of author Tao Lin at a great little independent book store and found that same feeling; it felt like a safe space. Rainy days are good for that, for hiding away and hibernating a bit. I've been training hard at my new job, a swanky restaurant in Soho and finally got a few days break before I officially begin on Sunday. Lucky me to be here and safe with hot coffee, my mac, my journal, my book, and you.

I got everything, I ain't got nothing at all

I'm sitting in my Brooklyn apartment sweating bullets as I write this. I left Montreal 6 days ago and it feels like I've been gone for ages already. So much has happened in that short period of time: meeting and staying with a great couch surfer in the East Village, looking for an apartment and finding one on the first day with my new roommate and great friend E, getting a new cell phone, setting up a bank account, and yes, even finding a job. I was really stressed about this move, I realize now how foolish it was. Deciding to move to New York City is not a decision to be taken lightly. My only reasoning is that I'd been feeling pretty upset and unlike myself in Montreal for the month of August; not being able to work is a very difficult thing especially when your Other is supporting you and working their ass off to do it. I'd never been in a situation like that before and simply couldn't continue to live like that. I needed to be proactive and get behind the driver's side.

Getting here kicked me into high gear because I knew it was kill or be killed mentality. New York is Darwinism at its finest. Everything about it is intense and political, it always comes down to who you know and who knows you. In my situation I needed to find a job immediately and was worried about my options since I couldn't afford to wait around and find out who would interview me months later. Thus I started with restaurants and passed an intense interview that involved a written test! To celebrate I bought myself a $14 skirt at Forever 21 to wear to my training tomorrow because oddly enough I didn't have a black skirt or pants. So. Here I am in Brooklyn. And to be completely honest all I can think about is Montreal and how much I love it. That was my home. That is my home.

The Sentence

And the stone word fell
On my still-living breast.
Never mind, I was ready.
I will manage somehow.

Today I have so much to do:
I must kill memory once and for all,
I must turn my soul to stone,
I must learn to live again--

Unless . . . Summer's ardent rustling
Is like a festival outside my window.
For a long time I've foreseen this
Brilliant day, this deserted house.

--Anna Akhmatova

This just in

I am moving to New York City on Monday. Holy hell. My visa is up on Monday and I've decided since I am quite broke that the best decision was to return to the States and get a job; and if I have to go back I want to at least go to the most amazing city there is. Ro and I will be doing the long distance thing at least until I get my papers, which probably means for a year and hopefully not longer. I'm scared only because I know that New York is a city that eats people for breakfast and in addition to that is unforgivably expensive. But I'm glad because I have a good network of friends living there already who are happy to have me joining their ranks and have offered to show me around, friends in a city like NY are essential. A good friend of mine from Minneapolis actually just made the move as well, we're looking to maybe get a place together in Brooklyn. Holy shit I'm moving to Brooklyn. This all feels so surreal, I'm moving to Brooklyn on Monday. I only just made that decision 2 days ago. A new adventure awaits and I am eager and nervous and naturally quite sad to be leaving Montreal. I really do love it here. Le sigh. I'll return, but until then....wait for it....No! Sleep! til Brooklyn! (wasn't it obvious?)

Brigitte Bardot, an interlude

It's finally summer in Montreal...caaaalisse it took long enough! Anyways here's a little something to get you all hot and bothered until I write again. A little Brigitte Bardot never hurt anyone. Who says I'm a lazy blogger? Would a lazy blogger give you Bardot? Would a lazy blogger tell you about baking blueberry scones and then making cds of French music for her friends instead of going to yoga? Would a lazy blogger, ah screw it, sorry for the absence (again)...now go get yourself a glass of ice water before Brigitte and her merry men give you a heat stroke!