My luggage was randomly selected by the airline to be searched

I'm almost there, I'm sitting here at the terminal connected via invisible wires and cords send out this message and wondering if you're as bewildered and amazed by technology as I. I know that it's been possible to connect to the internet at airport terminals for years now but something about the fact that I feel like I should be cut off from all outside sources of communication and yet am able to maintain my life, rather my online life, seems absurd. Technology makes me ubiquitous, but some how I can't help be feel dwarfed by it all. Existential crisis before flight? Perhaps. I'm not a good flyer, it never used to be this way until the last few years when I've become absolutely petrified of boarding a plane. This is no way stops me from continuing my beloved travel habit, but it certainly puts sends my stomach into knots and leaves me reevaluating my life each time before I board. I've been lucky to come across friends who've tried to calm my fears, even some fellow passengers on flight have been extremely kind and reassuring. I just feel so helpless. No use worrying about it now, though. I've bought the ticket, checked the bag, and been frisked by security: I'm going whether I survive to tell about it or not. And, well, I hope that I do survive to tell about it because I've got Montreal waiting on the other end and I'm terribly frightened and excited about the new foray into another life change/choice/country. There are still many many unknowns that await me, such as where I'm going to live, if I'll be able to get a job, if I'm qualified to receive a student permit, student loans, etc. etc. amen. Enough. I'm in a state of purity, the way you can enjoy something before you've even touched or tarnished it with your expectations. The city that awaits me is nothing but my own, as I see it, with no faults or mistakes although it may be messy and at times unjust the city simply exists in the gray matter of my mind as the idea of an idea I once had. One day it won't be mine anymore, I'll feel let down, get tired and jaded, and eventually abandon it for something newer or farther away; I know this is inevitable. I've always known that this capricious mind (soul, rather?) of mine has a tendency to wander. All I know is that I want a lot of everything, spatially speaking, I want to make a map of every place my feet have been...that means never standing still.

Halfway off the ground

"...there are people who believe they are flying, but it is already an achievement if they can get off the ground flapping their batlike overcoats."
-I. Calvino

Well, I guess I'm ready. Mostly. Ok not entirely, but I'm a bit of a procrastinator and I've been able to cross off about 78% of the items on my to do list. The only things left are to go through my clothes one final time before packing them and finish up a few administrative paperwork things, pas mal! Tonight I'll be following in the footsteps of exactly what I did last year by having dinner with my dear and beloved friend Tony. What's on the menu? TLTs! (Tofu, lettuce, tomatoes!) I intend to bring the leftovers of my homemade authentic New Orleans red beans and rice (made with Barbs' recipe!) and perhaps a bottle of wine. Dinner with friends, true dear friends, is such a delight. And I'm afraid that's all the news from Lake Wobegon for the moment, stay tuned for one final post from America's Dairy Land before I fly off to my next exciting adventure in a foreign land.

On never saying goodbye, ever

Gone. Today I drove home to prepare before my departure for Montreal. It's terribly exciting but of course I was an emotional wreck as I hugged everyone and celebrated with two going away parties and one going away brunch. (Lucky and loved am I.) As with most transitions in my life I was apprehensive and emotional, but this time I feel stronger and more aware of my own emotional strength. I've come to realize that leaving doesn't mean never returning and also, it doesn't mean saying goodbye. I proved to myself that I was able to return and be welcomed with open arms back into the relationships and friendships that I had cherished and thought lost forever when I went to France last summer. I thusly extricate the word and notion of goodbye from my mouth and my life, from this moment forward you'll only hear me say, 'a la prochaine' or 'see you next time'. Minneapolis you're my castle in the sky and I swear when I'm not in your midst you're on my mind and in my heart, I could never not return to you. And with that said, dear reader, please forgive my frequent absence this summer as I've been something of a space cadet. I've felt as if I had so little to say that was of any coherence or even importance; but I'm ready to breathe new life into this old blog again. Allow me to leave you with an inspiring and delightfully adorable music video that someone great showed me, thanks for sticking around, I'll see you when I see you.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

This is exactly what I need right now, more then anything else, is to be able to calm myself and see the bigger picture. Lately things seem to be out of my control, namely immigration & visa paperwork that I need to complete to enter Montreal (Quebec specifically). I'm working on applying for my QAC which, in layman's terms is a piece of paper which states the the Quebec government recognizes that I've been accepted to a university. It seems silly and unnecessary and thus is entirely French in that it's simply more bureaucratic red tape to deal with...those French really love to test your limits. In order to apply for this form I need to pay (ha, naturally) 100 Canadian clams, submit the application, and prove that I have enough money to support myself for a year which means I need 10k in addition to tuition. Yikes. So I'm dealing with my own feelings of anger as well as those of my parents who want to help but are also frustrated at the entire process and unsure of just how to approach it. Factor in that I probably won't even get this form before I need to leave and you've got one stressed out fille. I just wish for simpler times, I wish life wasn't so complicated. I wish I was at the beach, with a QAC in my hand, and something really boozy in the other hand.